Lance M. Dodes, M.D.

As a therapist I have just read "The Heart of Addiction" - and am not sure how a person is the identify the best,most direct and useful behaviour in coping with feelings of helplessness. The principle of addiction being a compromise between doing nothing and doing the most useful act makes sense - but I did not discover from my reading of Dr Dodes' book how to actually identify the better alternative for each circumstance. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Your question is a good one. The best alternative - the best way to respond when feeling overwhelmingly helpless - will be the one closest to a purely direct action that is still tolerable to the individual. In the examples in "The Heart of Addiction" people sometimes could make the obvious response, such as speaking up directly, but sometimes could only take a step toward this response. The woman who ordered take-out Chinese food instead of directly and simply refusing to cook dinner for her demanding husband illustrates this. She found an action that was not fully direct but still much closer than using Percodan as she had done in the past. At that point, it was intolerable for her to directly confront her husband. Still,when she took even this partial action, her urge to use her drug disappeared.

The "Upcoming Appearances" section is outdated. I would like your schedule for 2009--hopefully in California. :)
I am in the process of reading your book--just bought it yesterday. So far, I find it very very enlightening/interesting/mind challenging and with possibilities for my clients.

I've read "The Heart of Addiction" and was wondering if you can recommend anyone practicing your approach to addiction treatment in Tucson, Arizona?

Dear Dr Dodes,
My husband has been addicted to gambling for the past 6-7 years. It has gotten progressively worse and he has not been able to face the problem until recently. I truly believe and see that his problem is stemming from internal helplessness in the face of certain life challenges/family circumstances but am too close to him to help.

We desperatly need help finding someone practicing your approach in NYC or perhaps scheduling an appt. with you if you see patients still? The 12 step programs or others who treat this as a disease that can't be beat are not helping and frankly he doesn't believe them... Please help us find the way

Sincerely

I am finding repeating the phrase "I am not helpless." to myself a powerful force in reducing binge eating. The understanding I have gained from your theory has suddenly made foods that were once compelling beyond reason unappealing. I realize I don't even like them. This understanding has broken a 4 decades long spell. Incredible. Thank you so very much. You were right about fighting the tiger with a blindfold. I see now.

I've replied directly to Deborah Stevens, Shari Sanders and Leah G.
I notice that folks making new posts have linked them in a single thread attached to the original post by John Larkin. In order to make your posts easier to find, please create a new thread for each post which is not related to the original one. Thanks.
I've eliminated the “Upcoming Appearances” section from this website because, as Ms. Stevens pointed out, I’ve found it hard to keep it current. However, I've added a Contact page listing my office telephone number, and I would be glad to reply to posts that way, too. For people in the greater Boston area, that is also the best way to reach me for an appointment.
Thanks to all for your nice comments.

I have been wanting to quit gambling for the past couple of years. It doesn't matter how much I win...I could jackpot on dollars and not leave with it...how much is enough? I didn't finish the book but what I read has made since to me. I started little amounts when I was unemployed just to do something and progressively played higher...when I spent every dime I had was when I decided oh well I already messed up lets go all the way...now I still like to play but have realized I get just as much satisfaction from playing little amounts and have started again as just something to do and just last night I only spent $10 and decided I had other things I could do. I am trying to get satisfaction from just seeing what the machines will do and trying not to go over board. Pray that I will continue.